learning love

Neatly boxed up from days gone by
Sorted, catalogued by year and name
Messy emotions trapped like flies encased
In ancient amber and captured from a distant prehistoric age

They chart a beginning, middle and end
Of my emotional innocence
The battering of my stubborn head upon
A misguided vision of love, overly idealistic by definition

Immaturity-soaked and laced with angst
Coming to terms that feelings seldom are
Right or wrong, black or white
But are multi-hued and cast upon a multitude of ephemeral lights

Each time I reached out to hold them
They’d inevitably evaporate into the ether
Illusions created in an adolescent’s mind
Imagination overactive, emotion seductive, to reality totally untethered

Like a toddler stumbling unsteadily
Skinned knees and hearts are but passage’s rites
That’s how we eventually learn to run and defy
Our limitations and gravitation, allowing the heart to soar and fly

Conversations with myself, both sides debated
Quantified and analysed why I tried but failed
What I know now if only I knew then
This old heart’d have fewer scars and broken much less often